Think about it
People don’t generally wander around thinking about their own ability to think. But I have come across a secret lesson from my youth that has me thinking.
I have been working on being able to put my message forward in a way that is beneficial to all parties involved. Equally valuable to you, the consumer, and valuable to me and my business. This comes from a myriad of places, marketing materials, these weekly blogs, videos, face to face conversations, etc. and generally winds up with a working relationship where an exchange occurs.
I have not been able to easily conduct this exchange of value due to the secret lesson that I have uncovered for myself. But I can now see that this lesson has been a deciding factor for my entire life.
What is this lesson? It’s simple. “Don’t even THINK about it!” So, I haven’t.
I haven’t allowed myself to think about:
- asking for what I need.
- going for what I want.
- busting through the box.
Recently I had a conversation in which I was asked to reach out to folks and ask for what I needed. Just the thought of doing such a thing brought me to a place of fear and frozenness. I felt like a cornered animal that didn’t have enough strength to protect itself, so staying still was the only option.
This is where the voice in my head said, “Don’t even THINK about it!” This voice dripped with such derision and anger. I just knew that if the thought of “it” even popped into my head, a barrage of rage and vitriol would be lobbed at me.
Such was my conditioning that any HINT of “disturbing” others caused this reaction within me on a cellular level. Stay small, stay hidden, only come out when it’s approved by “others”. One step out of the box when not allowed and the shower of disdain would flow.
This is the fear and indoctrination I have been fighting as I launch and grow my business. I have been pushing those boundaries and coming face to face with that torment…all the while knowing that, out of those with me along my journey, I had the least of said torment.
There is a part of me that knows the qualities I possess. The outgoing nature, the gregarious personality, the adventurous soul, the childlike wonder in which I view the world. The world is such a wonderful place and I just want to play and explore the whole thing! And when left alone, this is what I do.
I also know that these things are what attract folks to be in my world, which brings the cloud. The cloud of “don’t be too much”, “don’t overshadow ‘others’”. Only shine enough to reflect the light onto the others that surround me, never on myself.
The “other” is the puppeteer. The one who says when it’s ok to shine, but don’t shine so bright that it doesn’t reflect on them. “If your light is too bright, it diminishes everyone else.”
I am learning that this statement is completely FALSE!
When you shine, you allow others to shine as well! It is only those, who have not found their version of shining, that feel this way. If they don’t know how to shine, they must steal the light from those who do.
When we can learn to look within and search for our own light, we can release others to be the best version of themselves possible, however that shows up.
Upon reflection, I became angry. I became angry at those who threw me in the deep end and watched me start to drown. Only to come in and rescue me, complimenting themselves on what a wonderful person they were to have rescued me…never acknowledging that they threw me into the pool in the first place.
I also know that I was the lucky one, because I was rescued. There are those who were with me who just got thrown in. Luckily for them they learned to swim, sort of. And not without seriously close calls. (Honestly, some are still just treading water.)
This is a new emotion to me as anger has always been something negative and destructive. Something I’ve avoided and put to the side because it doesn’t do “anything productive”.
I am learning that this particular anger can be a strength. A strength of boundaries, commitment to what is “right” for me and others, and a willingness to stand up to bullies of all kinds. It is an anger that promotes growth and freedom.
It is a muscle that, when strong, leads one to live a life of big dreams and fabulous adventure. I have flexed this muscle a few times in my life, and it has produced amazing results. I have flexed this muscle for others continuously and have watched people reach astonishing goals.
So, I am beginning the process of changing “Don’t even THINK about it!” to just “THINK about it!”
- What you want in your life
- What you need for yourself
- How to grow your environment
As Mary Oliver questioned:
“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
If you’re ready to begin THINKING about “IT”, join in the fun of Navigating Shift-Storms™. Just download the Navigating Shift-Storms™ FREE PDF to get started.