Fear of Success: When Your BIG Dream Starts Getting Real

I heard recently that frustration is a sign of growth. And I've been thinking about that a lot. Because frustration isn't the only thing that shows up when we're stretching beyond what's comfortable.

Fear shows up. Doubt shows up. Resistance shows up. They show up when you’re doing something, new or old, and things go sideways. And sometimes, they get LOUDER right when the thing we're working toward starts to feel real, which can lead to procrastination, self-sabotage, and giving up.

There is a part of you that just wants to go back to the comfort level and not look like an idiot. We like it when we are in control and look like we have it all together…but we can’t get to that point if we never learn.

When Fear of Success Shows Up as Everything Going Sideways 

When you’re going for your BIG Dream, there will be many moments when you’re about to hit a level of accomplishment and it seems like everything starts to go sideways or blow up. And it might not even be connected to the thing you’re going for…it could be something on the sidelines that just starts interrupting your world in the craziest way.

I’ve been experiencing this recently. I’ve been working really hard on my business and making some cool things happen and all of a sudden there is all this drama with my mother and it’s dividing my attention. So much so that there have been thoughts of, “Oh, my business should wait. This stuff with mom is too urgent.”

The thing is, she’s 2,000 miles away, my sister is there with her, my brother is on his way, and I’ve done everything I’m able to do. There is NOTHING else I can do at this point.

So I have a choice, I can sit and spin on all the things I’d like to make my mother do so I can jump in and take care of the next steps, diverting my energy away from my BIG Dream… OR… I can continue to take the micro-baby steps on my business in between the momma disasters.

Yes, it feels like I’m being pulled in all the directions. Yes, I’m afraid that I won’t hit specific deadlines. Yes, the self-doubt and wondering if it’s all worth it shows up…because “I’m supposed to be taking care of mom! How selfish could I be?!?”

There is usually a fear that intensifies when something really matters. People’s safety, health, and well being is a big one. And, I don’t know about you, but when it’s a choice between my safety and well being or someone I loves…I have historically chosen theirs over mine.

This used to be when I would give up, put my dreams to the side, and be the good girl. I would drop everything and jet off to wherever it was and dig in to help others get out of the Shift-Storm™. Which would put me in my own storm.

Moving Forward When Fear of Success Shows Up 

Today, I’ve learned a little bit about keeping my BIG Dream a priority. I still jump to help family and friends, it’s who I am, but now there are some boundaries. Those boundaries come with learning opportunities for me. It takes courage to move forward, with the fear trailing along saying, “BUT…Wait! What about this?!?” like a 5-year-old following you into the ocean warning you about the 1-inch waves.

We get the opportunity to step back in these moments and become the grounded wise woman who scoops up the child and wades into the water, gently dipping their toes in, holding them in safety, until the fear dissipates and the giggles start.

But until that moment it’s all about the frustration, the fear, trying to get out of “it”, and make it all stop.

Why Growth Can Bring Fear, Doubt, and Resistance 

New things push our boundaries and comfort zones. We, as humans, don’t like to look like we don’t know what we’re doing. It’s a vulnerable spot and a lot of past experience has taught us that vulnerability can be dangerous. And the closer that BIG Dream gets to becoming real, the more there is at stake.

When it was just something you thought about doing someday, it was safe. But now you’re DOING it. You could fail. You could look foolish. You could disappoint yourself or someone else. You could discover you don’t know what the heck you’re doing.

Or, perhaps even scarier, you could succeed. Fear of success is real because success brings change too. You may have to do things differently, set boundaries you’ve never set before, let go of old patterns, or stop being the person who drops everything whenever someone else needs you.

Suddenly, this BIG Dream MATTERS. And sometimes the fear gets louder because of it.

This is all normal and a part of the process. So, when you notice yourself teeming with frustration, feeling the anxiety, and biting back a bit of fear…chances are you’re in a growth zone. It may sound counterintuitive, but take a breath and give yourself a 10-Second Bootie Wiggle™! YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING! Whoop! You are stretching to make your BIG Dream happen!

If fear of success has everything feeling a little sideways right now, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re headed in the wrong direction. You may be in the middle of a Shift-Storm™, where the old patterns, fears, and ways of doing things get stirred up as you make room for something new.

My free Navigating Shift-Storms™ guide will help you recognize what’s happening, steady yourself in the middle of it, and keep taking those micro-baby steps toward your BIG Dream. Because the storm doesn’t get to decide where you’re going next.