Coping With Life Changes Without Losing Yourself

Yes, you’re busy. Yes, life is coming at you fast. BUT, this doesn’t have to mean you can’t do the things you love. It just means things need to be cleared out, cleaned up, and prioritized.

When you shift your life, the world around you shifts as well. Sometimes that is a fast, sharp shift and sometimes it is a slow, lumbering shift. Each takes time to readjust and get used to.

If your life is filled with ‘busy-ness’, it means you are putting everything on the priority list, nothing is allowed to be released or let go of…and therefore nothing really gets done well.

Coping with life changes means expecting turbulence

It’s OK to allow things to fall away, to not have to do everything. And part of that process is to go through tumultuous times. To see something you really want in life, while you’re juggling all the balls, and your focus shifts just enough to miss one of them. Then the rest start wobbling. The Shift-Storm™ starts rumbling and you start panicking.

Easy tasks start becoming difficult. Doubt creeps in and you can no longer concentrate on even the simplest thing. Then unexpected bills show up, something breaks, an unremembered commitment, someone else drops a ball, “AAARRRGGGHHH! I just want <insert thing>!!! Is that too much to ask for?!?”

When obstacles start to show up, it’s actually a good thing. It’s an opportunity to take a self-assessment. What’s working? What no longer serves? What’s in the way?

The answers to the questions could be found in mental, emotional, or spiritual blocks…or just physical things that weren’t taken care of properly because you had too much on your plate.

Reframing setbacks while coping with life changes

Take a moment to slow down a bit. Breathe and take what’s in the way and go through it bit by bit, line by line, letter by letter. Allow yourself to feel the emotions, hear the objections, scream or cry if needed, and then step back and REALLY look at the facts and what actions need to happen.

Things become very simple when they are not tied to guilt, shame, overwhelm, or fear.

Feel the emotions: E-motions are ethereal motions that just want to move. They don’t want to solve anything. They don’t want to create anything. They just want to move, dance, scream, rage, laugh, cry, and sing. Nothing more. So, let them. Once they have gone through their motions, there will be a quietness within. This allows you to…

Hear the objections: Your mind has SO MANY thoughts. So much input from your whole life is stored there. All the ways you’ve been hurt or helped. All the dangers you’ve been told about or experienced. All the ‘What If’s’. Your mind really wants to protect you from any of that happening again and so it throws out ALL the information…sometimes at the same time. It can be a cacophony of noise that’s hard to discern. So, take some time to hear (not listen to) what is being presented. Write it down, if it’s too much to hold at once. Then go back and acknowledge each statement. “I heard you. Thank you for the input. I will take this under advisement and may or may not listen to you.” This information allows you to…

Look at the FACTS and assess what needs to happen next: This is where you get to look at things objectively. What is just noise and what is actionable. This is where you get to prioritize and plan. It becomes a small puzzle, with just a few shapes, that is easily put together. So, review the objections to determine which apply to THIS situation and list out the tasks that are required to complete the project.

Building resilience while coping with life changes

If those pesky e-motions show up again (and they probably will), just rinse and repeat. This gets so much easier the more you do it because your emotions and mind will begin to see and trust that you are allowing them to do their job. They start trusting that you will feel the feelings and hear (if not listen to) the concerns. They will see you taking objective action to complete whatever it is that’s in front of you. They start to trust you…YOU start to trust you. Confidence builds, motivation rises, and resilience strengthens.

It is possible to weather the storm, to navigate the obstacles, to build a calm, peaceful life in which you are living into your BIG Dream.

Change does not mean you are failing. Obstacles do not mean you are incapable. Emotional turbulence does not mean you should quit. It means you are growing. And if you would like a guided way to walk through your own Shift-Storms™, step by step, I created something for you. Download the Navigating Shift-Storms™ guide and give yourself a simple framework to feel the emotions, hear the objections, and take calm, confident action, so you can keep moving toward your BIG Dream without losing yourself in the storm.