Creating Authentic Goals That Break the Autopilot Cycle 

Have you ever noticed that we always end up in the same rut, no matter how hard we try to change it? This is because we’re hardwired to go on autopilot. It’s comfortable, known, and easy.

When we are just going with the flow, we are at the whims of our old patterns. We need to take some kind of action to disrupt and pivot. Even just one small habit or shift in the ‘norm’ can make a huge difference.

Making a commitment to yourself to show up as your authentic self instead of what was put on you, trained into you, or shamed into you can be scary. It can mean you’re open and vulnerable to what other people think and say.

But when you know what’s right for you and are able to stand in your own reasoning, the comments and thoughts of others no longer land with as much punch.

It all starts with making a decision about what YOU want in your life and taking small steps, creating micro goals, in that direction.

Are Your Authentic Goals Really Yours? 

We all have goals that we wish to achieve, but the real question is…are they really YOUR goals? Or are they goals that have been imposed on you by family, friends, authority figures, or society as a whole?

Think about it… You hear about the families that expect their children to become doctors and lawyers, or some such profession. You hear about the families whose only expectation of their children is that they get a job, get married, and have babies. It doesn't matter if you’re at the highest, or lowest, of income levels, there’s some expectation that you live your life as they did. In the same manner, same thresholds, same boundaries as they had.

If you’re expected to become a doctor and you really want to sit in a park and paint watercolors, you are shunned as a ‘lazy, no-good, lay-about.’ If you’re expected to stay and work on the farm, in the garage, or in the cubicle and you really want to become a lawyer or doctor, you’re going above your station and are getting ‘too big for your britches.’

Each group has its way of holding the boundaries of what is expected from its members, and when you push those boundaries, people get scared. They say and do things to bring peace back into their lives.

But you are different, you are willing to face those fears and push those boundaries because you know what’s right for you…and it’s not what you’ve been doing. So you search. Even if you find yourself back in the rut of what you’ve done before, you keep searching.

Notice the Patterns Blocking Your Authentic Goals 

But searching is just the start. Noticing your patterns and choosing to make changes is the next step. This is where goals come into play.

Notice where your energy is currently going.

•  What are you putting as priorities?

• Are those truly the priorities you want?

• Are those priorities complete and you’re just hanging onto them because you don’t know anything else?

• Are you doing things out of obligation?

Now ask yourself, “What do I really want to do in my life?”

If you’re like most women I work with, the answer is probably, “I have NO CLUE! I don’t even remember what it’s like to want something or how to dream anymore.” You are not alone. I remember feeling just this way.

Authentic Goals Begin with Small, Brave Changes 

It takes small, incremental goals to break the cycle. Noticing what happened when you fall back into the rut and then trying again. Finding something that interrupted that autopilot behavior.

Find one thing that gives a little spark within and be totally committed to achieving that one little habit, goal, or milestone. Practice releasing the idea that you have to live as others have said you ‘should’, modeled as what’s ‘right’, or what ‘was possible’ for you.

You are the architect of your life. That divine spark within, that calm, quiet voice, is speaking to you…LISTEN. Great things await you if you do.

One of the hardest parts of creating authentic goals is reconnecting with what YOU actually want in the first place. When you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else, following expectations, or living on autopilot, it can feel almost impossible to hear your own voice clearly. 

That’s why I created The BIG Dream Visualization, to help you quiet the noise, reconnect with your inner knowing, and begin uncovering the dreams and desires that may have been buried for years.

If you’re ready to take the first small step toward a life that feels more like YOU, download the guided visualization and begin listening to that spark within.