Goals That Stretch You Without Overwhelming You
Most of us set goals that are lofty or totally within reach. This gives us evidence that we either always win or never win. So, we end up with a mindset that actually harms us in the end.
With the totally within reach goals, we never really work hard and stay within our comfort zones. We pretend that we’re making strides while never leaving the bubble. And underneath it all is a quiet level of fear that never allows us to really reach out for something better…even though we desperately want to.
With the lofty goals that are so huge, they can seem impossible to attain. But we try to do the BIG thing immediately and fail over and over. And every time we do there is criticism either from ourselves or from the people around us. This history of failure haunts us through shame and guilt. The internal and external commentary eventually creates a space of playing small and putting down any possibility before it could spark into something hopeful.
The sweet spot is somewhere in between. Having goals that stretch you beyond your comfort zone, but that are not so ‘out there’ as to be impossible. This is a delicate balance and often includes those ‘out there’ stretches.
Finding Goals That Stretch You
This sweet spot will make you feel a little nervous, but not so terrified that you won’t do it. It’s that place of, “I think I can, but EEE! It’s new and I’m a little unsure. But I think I can.” If you step out to the edge and your whole body freezes, step back and break it down into something smaller.
The thing is, when we set those lofty goals we tend to expect them to happen quickly. We forget that some things take time, work, and dedication. Having a lofty goal is not a bad thing…expecting it to happen tomorrow, next week, or even next year is the problem.
Olympic hopefuls don’t just wake up one morning ready for the arena. They train for DECADES before they ever come close. They spend time each day going over the basics and pushing themselves a little further each day. They make very selective sacrifices in order to make their BIG Dream happen. This doesn’t mean they sacrifice EVERYTHING, just the things that don’t work for them in their pursuit.
So, it all starts with a BIG Dream…and maybe it’s something completely crazy, but more likely it’s something that’s doable, but feels so far out of reach. The thing is, this BIG Dream chose YOU. That divine spark within knows what lights you up and says YES. Then it’s up to you to take the action to make it happen.
Turn Your BIG Dream Into Achievable Goals
The next step is to make a plan. This is where most people get it wrong. They set their midline goals too high and too soon.
In my own journey, my BIG Dream is to have a business that sustains me and my family and gives us the time and money freedom to travel and spend time with each other. When I started out I thought it was all about what products and services I provided…if I just made that, folks would line up around the block. So, I created a lot of different things and waited and wondered why only a few folks showed up.
I completely jumped over the first thing one must do…be seen and known. People don’t just show up at something they don’t know, there needs to be some kind of relationship cultivated.
I could have stopped and said, “Well, there’s another thing I did that didn’t work…I must really suck.” And, to be honest, I’ve done that a LOT in my life…but this dream kind of has me by the short hairs and I just couldn’t ignore it…so, I went back to the basics, took the smaller (and sometimes more painful) steps, worked through the frustration and discomfort, and did the work.
When making a plan, each little step is vitally important. You can’t skip the uncomfortable ones and just do the fun ones. I tried, and while it was fun…it didn’t yield the results I really wanted. So, I had to make sure those steps were taken.
Break Big Goals Into Smaller Steps
Take a look at your goal, lofty as it may be, and break it down into milestones. Where are the natural resting places? And how do you get to them? Take a look at where you are now and how can you get to that FIRST milestone?
And if it seems that the first milestone is too lofty in and of itself, break THAT down. This gives you a manageable path to navigate as you start on this Olympic journey.
I heard something recently and it really resonated with me, “Frustration is a sign that you’re growing.” It means you’re working through something you don’t know and are learning. You’re reaching for something that’s just beyond the comfort zone.
If you find yourself in overwhelm, that may be a sign it’s time to break things down into smaller bits. And some days those smaller bits could be as simple as waking up, feeding yourself, acknowledging the thing…and then going back to bed! :P Those days happen, but you acknowledged the thing, gave it some attention, and have chosen to keep coming back…because it works if you work it.
Your BIG Dream doesn’t have to get smaller just because the next step does. Keep the dream as wild, wonderful, and slightly crazy as it wants to be. Then find the next step that stretches you enough to require a little courage without making you freeze. And when that step becomes comfortable? Stretch again.
If you’re ready to turn that BIG Dream into goals you can actually move toward, download my free SCAMP Goals Infographic. It’ll help you look at your goals differently so you can create a path that moves you forward, one brave step at a time.