Reflecting on Your Journey to Reclaim Your BIG Dream
When we don’t finish something, we don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to be proud. We stay within the story we keep telling ourselves that we’re not good, smart, or worth enough because “Look at all the evidence! I start all these things but never finish them.”
This story keeps us small and safe…but it also keeps us from achieving what we most want in our lives, our BIG Dream.
These stories come from years of family, friends, and authority figures who were wanting us to stay in a box. This box kept us controllable and easy to handle, but it stifled our growth.
Inside there is something that wants to shine and it’s quietly calling your name. When you take the time to reflect on that small voice and all that you’ve been through, you start to see where other’s thoughts and opinions don’t work for you. You start to see the areas in which you’ve held yourself back out of fear and shame.
Reflecting on Your Journey Reveals the Stories Holding You Back
Fear, as Gay Hendricks states in The Big Leap, is just ‘excitement without breath.’ If you’ve ever noticed, when you’re excited and looking forward to something your breathing is normal, if not a little deeper.
But when you’re in fear, your breathing becomes short and speeds up like you’re not getting enough air…and then you find yourself holding your breath. This is your body’s way of staying small and quiet, so the monster doesn’t find you.
Shame is a mechanism of conformity. People like to be around folks just like them. You’ve heard the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It’s normal to want to ‘fit in’ and be a part of. But just because you started in one flock doesn't mean that it’s YOUR flock.
It makes me think of the Ugly Duckling story. A poor baby waterfowl is taken in by a family of ducks and is nothing like the others. It gets told it’s ugly and scraggly. It tries, but it never really fits in. Then it grows up to become a beautiful swan and finds other swans to hang out with and the ducks it grew up with are in awe.
Reflecting on Your Journey Helps You Separate Fear from Truth
Take some time to look back on your journey to see where fear and shame showed up.
Was it a helpful fear that kept you safe from the monsters? Or was it a pulling back from what you know you really wanted so that you could fit in where you were?
Were you taking on other’s stories as your own? Putting their beliefs onto you instead of stretching your swan wings and flying high?
By looking at and reflecting upon these instances, you get the chance to be the observer, to see what could not be seen then. With what you know now, how would you advise someone in that position?
Are you still holding on to the beliefs and constraints that were not of your making? That were handed down to you over the generations?
Reflecting on Your Journey Realigns You with What You Truly Want
These reflections allow you to redefine your personal structure to something that works for you. They help you to see where you did amazing things, things you can be proud of.
Maybe all those things that ‘didn’t get finished’ were just things to teach you something. When the learning was complete, you no longer needed the thing. That’s something to celebrate and acknowledge.
It’s as much about what you DON’T want or need in your life as it is about what you DO want or need. Your BIG Dream is waiting for you to realize that each step, no matter how small, is worthy of celebration and acknowledgment.
When you allow yourself the space for reflecting on your journey, something powerful happens. You stop seeing yourself as someone who didn’t finish, and start seeing yourself as someone who learned, adapted, and kept moving forward. That shift alone can change everything.
If you’re ready to go deeper and reconnect with what’s truly calling you next, I’ve created something to guide you. The BIG Dream Visualization is a meditation that will help you quiet the noise, reconnect with your inner voice, and begin to see what’s possible for you now, so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.