If You Feel Unworthy, Start with Small Goals to Build Belief

When self-doubt creeps in, setting goals can feel overwhelming. You look at what’s written and think, “That’ll never happen.” then toss it and walk away in disgust.

I’ve done this more than I care to admit. It’s something I fight with every day. Who do I think I am to be going for my BIG Dream? Then I turn around and say to myself, “I’m human! With a Divine Spark within and that spark deserves to shine! THAT’s who I think I am!”

Too often we are held back by old stories that were laid upon us as we were growing up. The need for perfection, the abuse of narcissism, the traditions of family/society, <add your own here>.  All these were added to our blank slate of a life. We were told, “this is the way it is” and since we didn’t know any better, we believed it.

Then we grew up and saw that maybe it wasn’t that way at all. There were other ways to be and do…but when we brought that information back it was negated, thwarted, dismissed and we climbed back into our little box and said OK.

The point is, there ARE other ways to be and do…but it takes baby steps to begin to believe that you can change.

Start with Small Goals to Build Trust

Start with small goals, something you know you can achieve, just to get in practice of writing things down, doing them, and celebrating when it’s completed. Then set the next goal.

It could be as simple as:

Goal 1: Do the dishes

Action: Do them

Celebration: 10-Second Bootie Wiggle™

Treat it like you’re a 5-year-old who is just learning. You are rewiring your brain to know that you are capable. 

Notice What’s Holding You Back

If you notice any resistance to doing the goal, take a look at it.

• What is it that is holding you back?
• Where in your body does the feeling reside?
• What stories/voices show up when you think about doing the thing?

I had/have to do this when it comes to self-care. I have avoided it, pretty much at all costs. Each time I do something close to self-care, there is a cacophony that rises within my brain with all kinds of nasty remarks. “You’re disgusting and gross. How could you let yourself go like this? Just look at this mess.” (Just to name a few.)

And it is a never-ending conversation as the task is being done. Each moment is a fight to say, “I’m worth this and it’s OK for me to do.”

Part of looking at the stories/voices that show up is to ask, “Is this true?” or maybe even, “Was this EVER true?”

Sometimes we take on stories that were true once, in a particular environment/set of events, and keep saying they’re true even though the environment or events have completely shifted.

If we can see that things have changed, we can see that the story is no longer true. When we can see the new truth, we can change our behaviors around it.

Sometimes we take on stories that were NEVER true. They were made up to control us and make us do what someone else wanted. When we can separate fact from fiction, we can step away from the old behaviors and choose something new.

Celebrate the Small Wins That Shift Your Story

As you go through this process, give yourself the praise for doing something hard and different, even if it’s “just a small thing.” Again, you are starting to rewire your brain and rewrite the stories you’ve been living. You deserve the gold stars and accolades for stepping into your true, authentic self. It’s more than just a participation trophy, it’s acknowledgment of winning the struggle.

Rebuilding belief in yourself doesn’t happen all at once. It begins with small actions that help you rewrite the stories that are keeping you stuck. If you’re ready to take the next step and set goals that are aligned with who you truly are, download the SCAMP Infographic. It’s a fresh way to set meaningful, doable goals that are rooted in strategy and self-worth. You don’t have to push harder, you just have to start.