Take Time to Reflect Before Setting Goals for the New Year
It’s that time of year again…time to make those New Year’s resolutions. 🙄 The thing is, resolutions don’t work…at all!
When I think of resolutions, I think of the word resolve. While the noun definition of resolve is “firm determination to do something”, my mind always goes to the verb definition “settle or find solution to”. And when I think of “settle”, I think of compromise.
“I’m resolving to…” There’s a heaviness to the decision. Like you’re giving up something that you’d rather keep. It comes from a place of lack.
Why You Should Take Time to Reflect Before Setting Goals
When you deprive yourself of things you enjoy, your resolve (firm determination) will break…because you really ENJOY the thing! You become sad, and possibly depressed, without it.
This is why diets, strict exercise, and other things like that don’t work. Because you see those chocolates or that TV show and you say, “Eh, what’s it going to hurt?” And then, of course, you’re off to the races and you look back with shame that you didn’t do the thing.
BUT, if you switch the words around from being resolved 🙄 to having a GOAL the momentum shifts from one of finality to one of moving forward. Notice the difference when you speak the words:
“I resolve to lose weight”
“My goal is 10 pounds lighter”
There are a couple of things going on here. One is the energy behind each statement, again one is heavy and feels like you’re dragging yourself along the path 😩, and one is lighter and feels like you’re about to get up and do something 🤩.
The second is, the specificity is completely different. One is vague and you’re not sure how much will get you over the finish line. The other is very specific, 10 pounds.
This gives your brain a finish line, something to look forward to, an expected dopamine hit. It builds your excitement and keeps you in the game when things get hard…the other feels hard from the beginning, so when it DOES get hard (and it will), you just let go and say, “It was too hard.”
Reflecting on What Worked Creates Forward Momentum
So, if you’re thinking about making a ‘resolution’ for next year, try something different. Set a goal instead. Don’t make a grand statement of “I’m going to quit X forever!” Try reflecting on the small things you’d like to change.
Think back over your year at what worked and what didn’t. Do more of what worked and see what you can do to improve what didn’t.
Maybe it’s shifting that ice cream container from a soup bowl to a teacup. Or finding that thing you like to do that doesn’t look like exercise but really is (at the moment mine is roller skating 😜).
It could even be opening up just a little more and having those conversations with the people you love.
Take Time to Reflect on the Life You Want Next
Take some time to reflect on what you want your life to look like next year and set meaningful and connected goals around that. These are the things to focus on in the new year. And know that you will wander…we’re human and get distracted. The key is to practice coming back to your focus with grace and compassion.
Reflection doesn’t have to be heavy or time-consuming to be powerful. A few intentional moments of looking back can give you clarity, confidence, and direction as you move forward.
If you’d like a simple, guided way to reflect on what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve learned, and where you want to grow next, I’ve created a free Accomplishment Record Template to support you.
It’s designed to help you see your progress clearly, reconnect with your momentum, and step into the new year with goals that truly fit you. You can download it below and begin your reflection with ease and compassion.