The Messy Middle: How to Reconnect With Your BIG Dream

We all have those moments when we start something new and are all excited about it. We get to work and are digging in and then something happens. Something doesn’t go the way we expected it to, an obstacle appears, life shows up with distractions, and the excitement of ‘get to’ turns into the drudgery of ‘have to’.

This is the messy middle of any project, dream, or goal. Maybe we’ve become disconnected from our initial passion and start to wonder why we’re doing the thing. Perhaps we thought it would happen in a certain time frame and that time has long since passed. Or maybe there’s another reason that showed up and we had no idea that it was out there.

You may be thinking that you made a mistake, that it’s too hard, and you should just let it go. There may be some shame in that it doesn’t look like you imagined it would, said it was going to be, or that it wasn’t the ‘right’ dream. Maybe you’re wondering if you’re even up to the task.

But when you think about the thing, your heart is still interested, your mind still thinks it’s a great idea, and there is this yearning to make it happen…it’s just been pushed to the background where the energy for it is drained.

Finding Your Way Through the Messy Middle

This is a moment to take some time, rest, and reflect. Take stock of all you’ve done, the mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual work you’ve completed that brought you to this point. None of it was a waste. It was learning and building the foundation that you now stand upon.

Look around to see if the path forward is still the one you wish to travel, or if there are some pivots you’d like to make. Your WHY will lead you in the right direction…even if it’s a major shift from where you started off.

The BIG Dream can have many phases, each of which look vastly different than the others. That exploration into underwater basket weaving? The deep dive into Star Trek University? The drum circle kick you were on for a year? Those things will enhance and deepen whatever it is your BIG Dream has in store for you.

Sometimes those unexpected detours help us discover what really lights us up, and sometimes they remind us of something we've forgotten about ourselves. Just because the path looks like a plate of spaghetti doesn’t mean it’s not all on the same plate! Reconnect with your initial impetus, remember your WHY.

It makes me think of Inigo Montoya from the Princess Bride. His WHY took him across the world and into many different walks of life…until it brought him face to face with the 6-fingered man. They begin to fight and the 6-fingered man is winning. But he keeps repeating his WHY. It is so strong that it keeps him standing back up, no matter how bad the injury, until he has accomplished his goal.

Remembering Your WHY in the Messy Middle

There are days when I find myself doing the same…repeating my WHY so that I sit down and write the blogs, take the videos, call the people, meet with my clients, and do the things that I need to do to create my BIG Dream. Some days it’s just one thing and that’s enough. Then there are those days when I think it will be just one thing, but it turns into an amazingly productive day.

The reconnection and tapping into why something is important may not bring the rush of excitement it did in the beginning, but it does remind us the work is worth doing and gives the motivation to take action, even through the blahs. When your WHY is aligned to your core values it becomes the strength to carry on (even if it’s slowly) to your desired destination.

There are as many ways to reconnect as there are humans in this world. Find yours. It could be walking in the park, swimming, skimming rocks on a lake, meditating, sitting by a cozy fire, running sky-clad under a full moon, or beating the snot out of the punching bag at the gym. When you find your method, DO IT!

Reconnecting With Your Dream When Excitement Fades

When you’re ready, ask yourself:

• What was happening in my life when this dream first appeared?
• What did I imagine would be different when I achieved it?
• What feeling or experience was I really hoping to create?
• Does that still matter to me today?

Sometimes the dream isn't really about starting a business, traveling the world, changing careers, or buying a sports car. It's about the freedom, independence, excitement, fulfillment, or possibility those things represent.

Write your WHY and plaster your space with all the versions that show up. Draw, collage, and journal about it. Give yourself those little reminders along the way so that your WHY constantly and consistently shows up for you giving you the energy and motivation to continue.

There will be days when you just want to give up on things. There will be days where it’s all there and things just work. And there will be days that are just the messy, boring middle where everything feels rote and unexciting. Take a moment to stop, reconnect, and soak in your core values and reasons for moving forward.

Your BIG Dream (no matter how BIG or small) chose you for a reason. You are the only one who can show up like you do. You have the skills, talents, and determination that make magic when you’re plugged into your WHY.

Sometimes all it takes is a little time and space to remember what lit that spark in the first place. If you've been caught up in the messy middle and lost touch with the excitement of your BIG Dream, I invite you to download my free BIG Dream Visualization. Give yourself permission to step away from the to-do lists, the obstacles, and the expectations for a little while so you can reconnect with what you really want and WHY you want it.

Your dream is still waiting for you. Let's see what happens when you give yourself a chance to dream again!