Why We Shrink Our Dreams and Choose to Stay Small

There are a lot of reasons we shrink our dreams. Life gets real, survival is important, and safety must be established. But once we get that all in place, I’ve found that we tend to stay in that box.

We do the job, because we’ve always done the job.

We stay with the people, because we’ve always been with them.

We don’t try new things, because it would upset the balance we think is so precarious.

When Playing It Safe Makes Us Shrink Our Dreams 

Life becomes about maintaining…not about living. And when you stay in this space for long enough, living becomes a far away fantasy that feels untouchable.

Then one day, you wake up and realize that you feel like a robot…same sh-tuff, different day. Then there’s the moment you notice everything around you is OK. There are no life threatening activities. Life became predictable, survival was ensured, safety is in place.

You realize there’s time for something else and the dream you tucked away long ago wakes up. But the voice shows up, “Don’t blow it all up! This is a good thing! It doesn't matter that you’re slowly dying of inertia…You’re SAFE!”

All the reasons show up why you shouldn’t listen to that little voice that says, “Can we play now?”

“Who do you think you are?!?”

“What about your spouse?”

“What would the family/neighbors/kids think?”

“That was so long ago, what makes you think it can happen now?”

“You’re too old/young/fat/skinny/unhealthy/unskilled to do that!”

“It’s a dumb idea and it costs too much.”

“Who does those kinds of things?!?”

<Add yours to the list.>

The Fear Behind Why We Shrink Our Dreams 

By staying small and not giving the dream its voice, we protect ourselves from the emotional risk of failure, judgment, and ridicule. We stay in the bubble of the familiar. We disappoint ourselves before we can disappoint anyone else, because it’s so much easier to be the butt of our own joke than it is to be the butt of someone else’s.

There are plenty of familial stories that say you can’t. There are plenty of people who will judge you whether you do something or don’t. There may be people who will leave or drift away.

But you are here, with a dream in your heart. It chose you and has been waiting for you, for this moment.

What Happens When We Stop Shrinking Our Dreams 

You have a choice…

You can tuck it back in the box and stay “safe” watching each day pass by because you don’t want to be selfish, unrealistic, or “too much,” supporting the lives of others at the expense of your own.

OR, you can realize that this dream you have is an oxygen mask. That in this moment you MUST be selfish in order to be able to continue to support and take care of those around you with love, compassion, and ease.

They can’t see your vision. They don’t know that this dream, the one that chose you, isn’t unrealistic for you. It’s the path you’re meant to walk. And in order to get it done, you NEED all that MUCH-ness that they can’t seem to handle.

Maybe the dream that keeps whispering to you isn’t asking you to blow up your life tomorrow. Maybe it’s simply asking you to stop shoving it back into the box. Give yourself permission to listen to it, play with it, and see where it wants to take you. 

My free BIG Dream Visualization will help you quiet some of those outside voices and reconnect with what YOU actually want, so you can give that dream a little breathing room and discover what might be waiting for you when you stop making yourself smaller. Download the BIG Dream Visualization here.