Adjusting Your Goals Doesn't Mean You've Failed

Have you ever started something only to have it go a little more sideways than you expected? You keep trying to bring it back to where you thought it was supposed to go but nothing seems to work. Then Sour Suzie chimes in and tells you what a failure it is, along with all the other negative self-talk she can hurl.

But what if the goal just needs a little adjustment? There’s new information, and things have evolved since you first started toward this goal. It’s only normal that things have shifted as time goes on. It doesn’t mean that what you were doing is a failure or a waste of time.

Adjusting Your Goals as You Grow

And sometimes it's not the circumstances that have changed. Sometimes it's YOU! The woman who originally set that goal has learned a few things along the way. Maybe you've discovered something you didn't know you wanted. Maybe something you thought was important doesn't hold the same appeal anymore. Why would you expect yourself to follow a roadmap created by a woman who didn't have the information you have today?

It is normal to review and refine as you go along. Especially when you run into those ever obnoxious obstacles that like to show up. Just because the dream doesn’t look exactly as you envisioned doesn’t mean it’s horrible, wrong, or unacceptable. Perhaps this new version is even better. Or maybe it’s just as exciting as what you originally thought.

I recently had a conversation about a Halloween costume that someone was making. They had a specific look in mind for their grandson, but some of the pieces just weren’t coming together like they ‘should’.

They tried different materials, putting things in different areas, but it just wasn’t coming together. They kept talking about how it was such a failure and that it was going to ruin the holiday.

I told them to do their best and ask their grandson what he thought of it BEFORE telling him that it was a failed attempt. If he said he likes it, it’s all good. If he doesn’t, they could agree with him and celebrate that they tried, even if it didn’t work out.

When I saw the pictures of him, he was smiling and having a great time. So, all in all…SUCCESS!! Even if it didn’t turn out exactly like they wanted it to.

Redefining Success Without Abandoning Your Dream

The original goal wasn't really to create a costume that looked exactly like the picture in someone's head. The goal was to give that little boy a wonderful Halloween experience. And judging by that smile, I'd say they nailed it!

The materials, the design, and the details were simply the HOW. The happy little boy was the WHY.

The same thing can happen to our own personal projects, goals, and dreams. Something isn’t working and we have a choice. We can try all the materials at hand, shift things around, and come at it from different angles…OR…we can throw the towel in and let Sour Suzie win.

This is not to say abandoning one piece of the dream means throwing in the towel on the whole thing. Perhaps abandoning that section is the angle that makes the BIG Difference. But when you let Sour Suzie take the reins, it only ends in shame and doubt…and that’s never fun. That leads to climbing further into the too-small box and hiding.

When Changing Your Goals Is the Right Choice

But sometimes the best adjustment is letting go of a particular goal altogether. Not because you've failed, but because you've discovered it isn't taking you where you want to go anymore. There's a BIG Difference between giving up on yourself and letting go of something that no longer fits who you're becoming.

Sour Suzie takes a hard stance on what is acceptable and what isn’t. She is rigid perfection. YOU get to choose when and where to be flexible in your flow. You get to be “perfectly” aligned to the ebb and flow of desire, design, and discovery.

Take some time and ask yourself:

• Is this goal still taking me toward what I really want?
• Is it the destination that needs adjusting, or just the route I'm taking?
• What could I change that would make this journey more enjoyable and sustainable?

There is great relief in knowing you don’t have to abandon the BIG Dream, just because some of the pieces you hold now don’t fit.

And here's something worth remembering. You aren't the same woman you were when you first started this journey, and that's a GOOD thing! You've learned, grown, discovered new possibilities, and perhaps even surprised yourself along the way. So why not give yourself permission to explore who you're becoming and what she really wants?

If you're wondering whether your goals still fit the woman you are today, my free Identity Reset guide is a wonderful place to start. It's an opportunity to reconnect with YOU, so you can move forward with greater clarity and confidence, without letting Sour Suzie convince you that changing direction means you've failed. Download your free Identity Reset guide here.