The Fear of Failure Can’t Win If You Don’t Stop
The fear of failure often stops people from even daring to Dream BIG. But here’s the thing…
You only truly fail if you stop trying, stop going for it, stop pursuing your BIG Dream.
Have you ever watched a baby learn how to crawl or walk? They fail SO MUCH! They get up on their hands and knees and rock back and forth and then splat back on the floor. They stand up and wobble like a Weeble, except that they do fall down.
It takes them MONTHS of continuing to ‘fail’ to figure out just the right balance, just the right muscles to fire to get that one foot up and forward. Their desire to get across the room to that toy on that shelf is more than their frustration of doing the work. They’re tenacious little buggers. 😛
Can you imagine how long a month is for a baby? 3 months is practically half their life! And they still don’t give up!
How fear of failure keeps us stuck
Now expand that time to your life…how long have you been actively working on your BIG Dream? A month? A year? Multiple years? If you were only 6 months old that might be an hour, a day, maybe a week. Give yourself a break. Have some grace for learning, trying, and learning some more.
We all go through the same learning process. We rock back and forth with an idea for a while, then sit on it for a minute before we start to crawl around with it. When it gets settled there, we begin to stand up and hold on for dear life.
Once we figure out how to stand strong, we make that first feeble attempt at movement forward and fall on our butts. We’ll probably cry and pout and be cranky for a moment or two. That’s ok, it’s frustrating when the thing is RIGHT THERE but we can’t get to it easily. We see it, but it’s just out of reach.
Why persistence matters more than perfection
For adults, this is where some folks stop and think, “I guess it’s just not meant for me.” Those people give up…and fail.
But there are others who think, “No! Damn it! I WANT that toy and I’m gonna get it, whatever it takes!” And they stand back up, pick up their foot again, and fall. “UGH!” Stand back up, maybe try the other foot first, and BAM…down again.
Then they try once more, but this time they slide their foot forward and balance between the feet, stretched out like a runner just waiting for the starting gun…and they STAY UP! Who knew?!?
Until they plop down again…but they have the strength and the idea of what it looks like in that new position. They continue this process until one day the foot comes off the floor, moves forward into that split position, and they pull the back leg forward…A STEP! WHOOP!
And if you’ve ever watched kids who’ve made that first step, it’s not long before they are RUNNING EVERYWHERE!
It’s the same for you and your BIG Dream…once you find that balance and can move your feet, stuff starts FLYING!
Give yourself permission to fall without shame
Is it scary? Hell yes, it is!
Falling on your face hurts and people laugh. Some people are even mean enough to call you names and tell you just how uncoordinated you are, try to shame you for stretching your abilities. Babies have the luxury of not understanding the words people say…so they just keep trying without shame.
You can do the same. Whenever someone says something negative, imagine it’s Greek, Scottish Gaelic, or some alien language that are just sounds and don’t mean anything. You may look at them like they’re crazy, and then just keep on keeping on.
You’ll learn a lot of things along the way AND you’ll be just that much closer to realizing your BIG Dream! You might even be on your way to becoming an Olympic Runner holding the torch for those who look up to you.
The next time fear of failure starts whispering that you’re too clumsy, too slow, or too far behind, remember the baby learning to walk. It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of faceplants to get to that confident stride. And you? You’re still in motion. You’re still trying. That means you’re not failing, you’re growing.
Want a simple way to track your wins, build momentum, and prove to yourself just how far you’ve come? Download my Accomplishment Record Template and start filling your confidence bucket today. Small wins turn into BIG Dream breakthroughs.