Self-Care That Sustains You While Creating Meaningful Change

Sometimes we’re so busy doing life that we forget what we want. We have task lists and chores galore and never stop to think about what would make our lives happy and free. It’s always the next fire to be put out, the next chore or project to complete, and by the end of the day we’re exhausted and just flop in front of the TV or phone.

And then there are those moments, the quiet ones, where we have a moment to stop and a feeling comes over us that there’s something more out there…but we have no idea what it is or how to even get started. It’s just this yearning to do something, but we don’t have a clue as to what. So we turn back around and get back to the life we’ve been living, pushing the sadness of that yearning back to the shadows.

But it keeps showing up and we start to feel a little isolated and lonely, even though we’re surrounded by people. Even though we’re “out there” doing things… We KNOW they’re not the ‘right’ things. Not the things that would make us feel fulfilled, instead of continuing to do the things that leave us feeling like everyday is SSDD (Same Sh*t, Different Day).

Self-Care Begins with Listening to the Yearning

If this is you, it’s time to take a moment. To allow yourself to really reflect on that yearning, that possibility. To let yourself Dream, even if you have NO IDEA what it could be.

This moment of internal self-care will help you to see what’s right in front of you…a change is needed. There needs to be some time for you, some purpose for you…other that getting up, going to work, dealing with kids/family, coming home, and flopping at the end of the day.

This act of self-care can look very different than what you would think. I could be the traditional bubble bath with candles and a good book. Or it could look like taking yourself to the woods for a day by yourself, renting an AirBnb instead of staying with family, taking a road trip by yourself.

Ask yourself,

• What would make you feel loved and supported?
• What can you do to make that happen?

Maybe it’s just a small thing first. A walk in the park. But maybe it’s a boundary that needs to be set.

Self-Care Through Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

Boundaries, no matter how small, can be a really good thing. For example, my husband really loves to converse with me and he’s always telling me about his thoughts and ideas, sometimes even before he enters the room I happen to be in. 😜

I love having these conversations with him, but I really like my morning time to be quiet and reflective, focused on work. Finally, after almost 30 years of being together, I made the request of quiet time in the morning. I’m usually up before him and head into my office before he rises and he used to come into the office to tell me all his thoughts.

This would cut into my productive time and cause me to work during times when I’m not so clear or focused. I used to not be able to say anything. But then I had some courage to take care of myself. So I asked that he not come in until after 12.

This was really hard for me to do because I love him and I didn’t want him to feel like I didn’t want to talk to him, I just needed that time to do my work effectively. And because he’s the best, he totally understood and does his best to give me that time.

This boundary was something that I did to acknowledge that my morning time is my quiet time, my time to be productive, and to request that time be honored. It’s a self-care technique that acknowledges his desire to tell me all the things, and my need for a quiet working space.

Self-Care That Nourishes More Than Your Body

Self-care goes beyond taking care of the physical body, bubble baths, spa days, etc. It encompasses your mental, emotional, and spiritual needs as well. Self-care can look like going out dancing, going to the theatre, sitting by a lake and watching the sunset, getting an AirBnb when visiting your mother. 😜

So, take a moment and find out what would make you feel loved and supported and how you could provide that for yourself. It could be a conversation saying, “Hey, I could really use <enter what you need, time, hugs, etc.> right now. Can you respect that?” Or it could be starting a new activity. Whatever works for you. 

As you begin to redefine what self-care truly looks like for you, it can help to slow down and reconnect with what you actually want next, not what you think you should want. 

If you’re feeling that quiet pull toward something more but aren’t sure how to name it yet, I’ve created a gentle starting point for you. The BIG Dream Visualization is a guided experience designed to help you reconnect with yourself, tune into that inner knowing, and take the first grounded step forward, so you can move toward meaningful change with clarity and care. You can download it now and give yourself the space to listen.