When Your Goals No Longer Fit Who You're Becoming
Some days you look up and wonder why you’re doing something. You may remember why you started, but the impetus and desire just isn’t there anymore. Whatever it is just feels like drudgery for drudgery’s sake. Yet you continue on, because you said you would.
We get bogged down in the ‘musts’ of things. We gave our word, we said we would, so now we must. As Horton said, “An elephant’s faithful, 100%.”
The goals we set may be inherited from others’ expectations, or they could be from a previous version of ourselves. Either way, they no longer fit who we want to be or what we want to do…yet we continue to go for them out of obligation.
The thing is, we end up not doing a very good job when our reason for doing something isn’t aligned. It becomes a burden rather than a delight. This is not to say everything will be delightful when going for something we’re totally aligned with…just that our desire to do it will always bring some semblance of joy, even in the hard times.
Recognizing Goals That No Longer Fit
A great example of this is when my eldest daughter was playing basketball in High School. They had a great team with a great coach, and everyone was having fun and winning championships. Then a new coach came in who leaned heavily into the ‘winning’ and ‘making them champions’ and didn’t do so much of the ‘fun’.
Practices started to feel heavy, like they weren’t doing enough, growing enough, or working hard enough. The team that won the State championship suddenly wasn’t good enough. And the girls stopped having fun.
My daughter asked to be able to stop doing basketball and my response was, “No, you’ve made a commitment, you need to stay and see it through.” I learned very quickly just how ‘old school’ and out of touch this response was. She started quitting everything else she could in order to make the team cut her. This quickly showed up as failing all her classes.
This is when I saw what making her stay in basketball was doing to HER. The team cut her for academic failure, and she went back to being an A/B student…and she was much happier in life.
You've Changed, Your Goals Can Too
I realized that it’s ok to change your mind about things. It’s ok to be enthusiastic about something at first and then, when you find out more about it, to step back and say, “Hmm, this isn’t what I really want to do.”
Sometimes the goal isn't wrong. It was exactly what you needed at that point in your life. But then life changes. You change. What once fit beautifully can begin to feel tight, like trying to wear clothes you've long since outgrown. That doesn't mean you failed. It means you've grown into someone new, and your goals deserve to grow with you.
What others think and say really has no bearing on what is right for you. You’re not ‘too big for your britches’. You’ve simply grown and need bigger britches. 
There are some responsibilities in life that we all have to take care of, but HOW we take care of them is up to you.
Create Goals That Reflect Who You're Becoming
If you’re doing something today that isn’t in alignment with who you want to be, give yourself the gift of saying, “I’m done.” Give your notice, help transition the work, and start that something new that is calling you.
Walking away from goals that no longer fits isn't giving up. It's creating space for what comes next. Sometimes the hardest part isn't letting go of a goal. It's giving yourself permission to imagine a new one.
If you've realized that some of your goals no longer fit the woman you're becoming, perhaps it's time to reconnect with what truly does. My free BIG Dream Visualization is designed to help you quiet the noise, reconnect with yourself, and rediscover the dreams that may have been waiting patiently beneath everyone else's expectations. You might be surprised by what your heart has been trying to tell you all along.