Fill Your Evidence Bucket with Positive Self-Talk
When you feel down, like you’re not good enough, chances are you’re looking back at all that you didn’t accomplish. This type of reflection is common in all animals.
In the scientific white paper The power of negative and positive episodic memories authors Williams, Ford, and Kensinger wrote: “From rodents to humans, and from simplistic stimuli to autobiographical experiences, there is abundant evidence that negative content is more likely to be remembered than neutral content, especially over longer-term durations.”
As humans, we need to know where danger is, and these negative memories help us to remember the dangers of life. BUT, if we live in this mindset we become anxious and fearful…we stay small and hidden.
By balancing out the negative memories with positive ones we can learn to step forward confidently, knowing where possible dangers are but not letting them stop us.
The authors of the above article also noted: “…positive autobiographical memories act as rewards in themselves and can buffer effects of stress. Memories for positive personal events become more integrally tied to our sense of self and can perpetuate self-esteem.”
Start Intentionally Practicing Positive Self-Talk
So how do we move our focus from negative to positive? We start intentionally looking for the good things to put into our Positive Evidence Bucket.
We spend most of our time remembering the bad, but if you intentionally search for the good, you’ll begin to see it everywhere. The project you completed. The customer who walked away with a smile. The random act of kindness you did when no one was watching. All these things, and more, add up if you just look at them instead of sweeping them under the rug.
Document Wins To Build Positive Self-Talk
Start by writing down all that you do during a day. The phone calls you make, the emails you send, the meetings you have, the documents you complete…all of it. You see, we forget all that we do, so we need to take a moment to really look at our day.
You’ll find that you do more than you ever remembered you did. And when you see the growing list, you’ll start to feel a little better, a little prouder of your accomplishments. A smile just might creep up on your face and your shoulders may pull back in pride.
Celebrate Small Wins To Strengthen Self-Talk
When this happens, it’s a good time to cement this feeling in! Do a little dance, sing a little song, ask yourself, “What would 5-year-old me do when she felt like this?” and DO THAT!
This little bit of celebration solidifies the moment into your memory so when you look back and reflect on life to this point, you can smile knowing you are capable of great things…even if they are small in nature, they build to be the accomplishments that have you where you are now…ready to take the next adventure on with confidence.
When you look back and see negative, look also for how you navigated that space and either cleaned it up or healed from it. That is major growth. You are not the same person…you’ve learned and grown and have new skills. You have a firm foundation to stand on moving forward. You will know yourself to be worthy.
The truth is, you’re building something beautiful, even if your inner critic hasn’t caught on yet. Every win, no matter how small, is proof of your growth. To help you keep track and remind yourself that you’re doing better than you think, I created the Accomplishment Record Template. It’s your daily dose of positive self-talk, in written form. Download it now and start filling your bucket with the truth: you are doing amazing things.